What I Did To Fill In the Blanks
In a previous post I wrote how there was no love between
31 and I. And there wasn't. In public
31 was the best. He held my hand, he rubbed my back, he grabbed my ass, he kissed me... But in the house, there was nothing. Nothing! He never touched me. At first I thought it was us trying to get use to each other but in the long run it turned out that he claimed that he didn't know how to do any of that. So this all left me hollow. I was so hollow that at night, when he was in the bed with me I would curl up with a pillow on the other side of the bed. I would curl up with the dog. I would give out my number and emotionally cheat with someone, anyone! I wanted feelings, I wanted tenderness, I wanted...I wanted love.
I have been so afraid to say that I wanted to fall in love in so long. Before I met
31 I was lost. I had just left my ex in "our" apartment and came back home because I couldn't deal. I felt like I was changing. In the end I was lonely in my own home. I came home to my mom's house and the depression sunk in so bad that I was drunk, high, fucking, or doing something bad every night. Then I met
31. The morals that he had, his mentality, his academics, it all blew me away...It blew me out of my state of darkness and I fell. I fell for a facade that only happened on the outside. During all of this I knew I was hollow and I knew that I needed more from him when a woman started hitting on me.
I've never considered this before in my life but she was selling me a dream. A dream of comfort. The thing that us women do, have two men at one time. One to, as in the words of La, Tupac your ass, and one tender one to take care of your emotional side. The questions started, could I really keep a woman on the side? Do I even want a woman? Am I curious? My friends said if I kept talking about it then I must be. And to be honest I was. So I tried it. Once. And it wasn't my shit! Although there was that comfort and tenderness, really in the end when we cuddled I wanted a stiff one in my ass crack!
So ...
31 and I are over. The chick is gone... I started to go back to that same place that was I at without even telling anyone and then the Haitian came along. I'm confused, I'm not sure what's going on. He's definitely not Tupac-ing me...he really is giving me the whole baby making scene, I mean he Tupac-ed me once...and damn was that good. But ... what am I doing with my life!!!!!?????!!!!! Most of my friends are married, babies, in love, and ... and I'm just in this place... in this place of stagnation. People have told me that it will come when it's supposed to so.... so.... why do I feel this way?
Labels: 30, 31 now, the Haitian
Frying Chicken in His Momma's House
"This friends shit is killing me!" "What do you mean?" "We're not friends cause clearly I'm doing things with you that I only do with someone who is my man." "I think we're more than friends, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship." "But if I was fucking someone else you would be mad." "I can't say anything." "But you weren't mad when you thought I fucked Shatim?" "LOL"
Okay...let me start from the beginning....
Saturday was
30 is now 31 Birthday Party. He had a cook out at his mother's house. He asked me to come there early. I get there early and ain't shit done. The dishes aren't washed, the kitchen floor isn't swept, the chicken isn't fried...it's like what the hell. So his mother asks me to help
30 is now 31 or should I say
31, his sisters, and her with the dishes while they continue to finish fixing the food and the backyard. Once I finished the dishes, I swept the floor, then his sister said she didn't know how to fry chicken so I started on that as well. It was crazy. In the middle of me frying chicken all his family started showing up.
He's introducing me as his friend but he's coming in checking on me, hugging me, kissing me, and all of this while I'm frying chicken in his MOMMA'S HOUSE! I didn't mind actually it was very funny. His one set of cousins were there talking about the other cousins. There was a pinata for the kids and someone got popped in the head with a stick. And at the end of the night people started stealing beers, pieces of cake, and slabs of ribs...yeah I said 2 slabs of ribs were missing at the end of the day.
Then the funniest started...
31 definitely agreed for him and I to babysit his goddaughter that night. I was like what the hell!!! His cousins and Jersey friends were trying to holla...super funny. One guy was outside talking to me next thing you know
31's sister and I was talking and he gives me the side eye like come over here. I'm like what? He's really giving me the over here nod. I said no thank you. One of his cousin's was asking the 20 questions. Are you and
31 married? Is that your kid? Is that your man? Oh well can I say hi? NO...NO you can't!!! Luckily
31 saw it all and handled it all by telling all the guys to back off...very funny!!!!
The next day, I returned for the after party dinner. Which was fun as hell. His mean cousins who were talking about every one were back and they actually liked me...very funny...His momma and sisters are great...love them!!!! The grandparents were great...his dad is super funny, he tried to give me a political question to make sure I wasn't stupid...so I pulled out my 95k education on him...And the next day was even better because we were all playing cards.
With all of that said, the above conversation is what we had afterwards because clearly it was time for the talk. Well, clearly the talk didn't go well or at least how I thought it would. Not that I want to be his girlfriend but damn...stop treating me that way if you're not ready...but in reality am I ready? And aren't we already in a relationship because of the way he treats me? I mean seriously, I met the grandparents on both sides. What am I doing with myself? I just got out of an abusive relationship and here I rushing into something else? I don't know...But look at me frying chicken in his momma's house!
Labels: 30, 31 now, chicken, his family
One Thing At A Time Please?
That's how I feel like my life has been right now...It's been so long since I posted, it's ridiculous. It's not like I'm not doing anything. Shit it's like I'm doing so much but doesn't feel like I'm getting anything done. So I've finally gotten a chance to post and I honestly think because I had to take some me time to sit and pamper myself for a couple of seconds that I got the oppoturnity to post. So what's been going on? Everything and nothing at all.
30 is definitely still in the picture. There is no question that he won't be around by the end of summer. Things have been going so well between him and I that I may cut off the other guys that I have been dating.
*Side Bar - Why does that happen? Women get wrapped up in a guy that they are dating, yes definitely dating not a boyfriend and then we cut off all the other men that we are dating too but men don't cut any of the other women off.* On other thought, I won't cut anyone off, I'll just keep things going the way they are until I'm ready to commit to him.
Grad School is definitely over! Yes, I handed in my last finals last week and I got one back, got a B+ on the final paper and an A in the class. The other class and the internship, I haven't heard from yet. Still got a financial hold on my record although I paid the balance it just hasn't been updated yet.
Lastly, work is kicking my assets!!! They want to fire my supervisor. His superiors feel that he is incompetent but the problem is that because they want to fire him puts hell on those underneath him. They double check our work for his mistakes, they constantly call us, and it is just taxing on someone's body. I'm just really beat!!! I'm so beat up mentally from this!!!
Other than all of that.....I'm good!!!! A little sleep deprived and hungry but I'm good. I think I need a beer draw like
Jamielor a day where I think I'm a Superstar like
Jaybeeand
Rashan...or maybe a day where I can just tell my supervisor that he is an idoit like
Divaimplied...But more importantly I think I need those summers off like
Von Kutieboots....I live vicariously thru those items right now until I get a chance to be normal again. Hopefully, after I catch up on work at work, graduate, and maybe get some from
30.... I should be fine....did I mention that it just so happens to be that week...yeah...life is pretty tough now...LOL!!! But I'm hanging in there!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: 30, graduation, need some, school, work
Why Am I Running?
I'm in Philly for the weekend and this is what happened...So before I came to Philly my coworkers and I had a conversation about anal sex. As much as I am open to sexual experiences, seeing that I lost my virginity at 14 and I tend to think that I may be a little superheadish...well I don't do anals!
30 and I had sex one day and he put his thumb there and that shut down sex for the night!!! Anyway, I'm kind of prudish when it comes to certain things. So my coworkers were saying that I have to lighten up so I tried. It's dinner time, I'm in Philly, we're in the house watching a movie and you know it started popping off, next thing you know there's a finger in my ass. It was okay but what happened afterwards was not cool!!!! Not at all!!! We finish up, we shower, then we hit dinner. We come back and we're watching the rest of the movie. We both start falling asleep on the couch. Then it's like okay I'm going to get in the bed. I get ready to change my clothes. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. By the way, I'm glad I have a big makeup bag where I carry everything in it. Well, I go into the bathroom, close the door and my stomach starts. I know when I've eaten something I shouldn't. As soon as I'm done eating, like 20 minutes later it feels like I have some type of alien in my stomach that is trying to rip out. So I said in my head
oh shit, i have the runs and i'm out of town!!! Now I don't know how long you guys have been reading, but
30 and I have not known each other long enough for me to shit at his house. So I turn on the shower cause I'm like fuck it I got shower now. I sit down and my whole life is pouring out of me...I know this is so nasty but this is what happened!!! So now I'm flushing the toilet like 3 or 4 times and I'm praying to God he is still sleep on the couch so he can't hear it. Even more, I'm praying that this bullshit odor nuetralizer he has works.
Now why was I so nervous, well
30 has decided that he wants to start toileting with the door open while I'm here. Dude is getting comfortable. Like for example, I'm in the living room now and he's in the shower to my left with the door open. I'm only blogging in the living room because the wireless connection is better out here. Ps. he doesn't know I have a blog. So that was is why I'm nervous as shit... So I have figured out why I never do the anal thing. You let someone stick a finger up there and next thing you know you're shitting your whole life away!
It's a nice day, I'm think I'm going to ask if we can go to the park, talk later guys!!!!
Labels: 30
I Goes Left!!!!
Some of you who know me read and some of you who just read don't know me. But when I get mad...I GO LEFT. No seriously, I GO LEFT!!!!! I black out forget who I'm talking to and loose my damn mind and just start arguing with people. And on top of all of that I don't like when you don't want to argue back or something. And I go left so bad that everyone gets it grandma, mom, boyfriend, not boyfriend, best friend, and even the random ass crackhead on the corner!
Okay so here is where I went left. Like I said before, yes I'm dating
30 but I'm open to dating other people. Well here is well I decided there is a lot of bitchassness with guys now and I'm not sure if I want to date anyone else other than
30. So there was this music producer guy...and yes he was really a music producer guy and we were kicking it on the phone but our schedules never matched up. Finally today our schedule made it. Class got cancelled for me and he ended up being sick. So I was supposed to go to his house. He started with the ambiguousness too much!!! From the jump dude was like OK I can't really tell you where I live cause it's so new but my complex has everything!! So then I'm getting upset...I don't do all of that...if you are going to beat me in the head about coming to see you well be up front. I live here, I have this, I do this, don't give me that shit about Google me and shit....He did all of that!!!
Like I said before if one person gets me angry and you come along and say something that makes my anger worst...well you get the brunt of it all...and that's what happened. My uncle is a crackhead. He's been a crackhead since I was born. He's functional. He goes to work, doesn't steal, pays rent, and occasional will do you a favor for some extra cash. Well he wanted to get this new stimulus package and wanted me to file his taxes. I did the taxes but I didn't print out the thing for him to sign. The taxes by the way were e-filed he only needed to sign the paper cause I don't have an e-file pin number. My grandmother came over last night and was bitching about I didn't do it! My mother is yelling, she's yelling, and on top of all of that Music Producer is like hurry up...but as he's talking I realize that he's in the car not home sick like he should be. I print out the shit give it to my grandmother, as she's still bitching, I tell her to fall back I get in the car. Now mind you all of this is going down at 9pm. I wanted to be sleep by 10pm so now I'm mad, cause Music Producer Dude was even like well spend the night...nigga please!!!! Just cause you a music producer don't mean I'm giving it up right away!!! I don't give a shit....and that's where I started going more left!!!
Then he calls me as I'm driving like hurry up...yet he still isn't home but he's supposed to be home sick with some throat thing? I'm almost completely left. Then he calls back and all of this is while I'm driving there to some ambiguous place in a town and county I don't know well enough, he goes let's go out to eat. I snapped, wait you are supposed to home sleep why the fuck are you at a restaurant, you told me to come out in a thermal and sweatpants, what the fuck I'm not going there and .... he jumps in and says well just go to my house ... so I snap again go to your fucking house that is on some random ass street and some ambiguous neighborhood?
*side bar clearly the word ambiguous was my shit yesterday!!! side bar over* Next thing you know I hear CLICK!!!! So I'm like OK...he lives in a random ass county and their cell reception probably isn't that great. I called back and left a message. I said look I don't know if you lost reception or hung up but you need to call me back. No call back happened. I called my girl Shaun immediately and told her what was going on.
Here is where my theory develops. I think that there are too many woman to men out there and guess what, woman know that so they let men get away with bitchassness. If a dude hangs up on me it's a wrap!!! That's a bitch move...only bitches hang up!!! So I said okay, I'll drive to the restaurant and hit him with a text on his crackberry, if he doesn't answer then I'm hitting the nearest u-turn and going home. I did that. He called me after the u-turn and said okay, so where are you? What are you serious? I said I'm going home, I called you when I reached the restaurant but I'm out. He was like why. I said because I believe you hung up on me. Dude was so bold and was like yes I did. I said ok therefore you're not that sick, you're in a restaurant, you're doing something else, and on top of all of that you hung up on me. He said well you were cursing and you went left real fast. I said ok, I was mad and part of it honestly wasn't for you but you got it. So now what? He said ok well turn around. No dude you don't understand you hung up...if you couldn't stand me on the phone why do you want to see me in person? He sat there and was like well I still want to see you just not when you're left. I said okay well apologize for hanging up. He said no. I said I'm not turning around. He sat there for a second and said ok so what's next are you driving here. I said I'm driving but not there. He then said ok and clicked again! See, another bitch move....dude can loose my number now! I don't hang up on people cause I know how that shit makes me feel but he hung up on me twice and still wanted me to come. See that means he's spoiled and women always let's him gets whatever he wants!!! Not a good look, then you have a bitch of a dude! There should only be one spoiled person in a situation/relationship/fucking. See with me and
30 there's only one spoiled person who can go left, hang up and stuff like that and THAT'S ME!!!! I know this for a fact cause I've gone left on
30 at least 3x now and he has sat there like a man took it, apologized, and we kept it moving!
Dudes need to get over this bitchassness that they are on, I'm not that chick. I know there are too many woman out there and if a woman pisses you off you can just move to the next. Well guess what guys, I get offered dick everyday!!! I may look cute and innocent on blog or my photo but my swag is crazy. Dudes come at me every day...I don't need just one particular dude and I don't have to sit around and take crazy shit!!!! I get offered dick every damn day...now you hung up on me...be ready to know that you can never speak to me again!!! Grow up, get over it cause I went left so what!!!!
Labels: 30
I'm So Mad I Have to Blog!!!!
That's right I'm mad. I'm a pretty calm person and I barely get mad!! I mean don't get me wrong I get mad but I don't get angry where I want to argue or blog at that!!!! So here's the problem. Last night
30 came up from Philly to stay with his mother. She wanted him to fix some things around her house. So I picked him up from the local train station cause his car is acting up. I asked if he wanted to go out to dinner and he said no that he already ate but I told him that I cooked. He asked for a plate. I made the best shrimp, broccoli, and linguine. I packed it up, picked him up, and we headed to his mother's house. She was conveniently at work. I sit in the den and started to watch TV. His mother's dog
*side bar which compares nothing to my baby Bamboo...yes I have a dog, a Lhasa Apso...I know, you just knew that I had a toy dog side bar done* came in and I started petting him. 30 came and sat next to me. He thought the dinner was good but what happened next? Well, I ANOTHER ALLERGIC REACTION but this time, this time, this time my two eyes swell up and shut! YES DAMMIT THEY SHUT!! He yells 'oh my God. Okay, let's get you home so you can take the medication the doctor gave you." But me not wanting to be dependent on him, I say no, no eat your dinner I'll drive myself home you're fine. So I drove approximately 3 miles home with one swollen shut eye and another swollen eye but forced it open. I got home jumped in the shower, took 2 benedryls, 1 allegra-d, and slapped some more of that allergy cream all over my face and neck. By the way, he saw the allergic rash on my neck and said wow!
So here is where I get mad. He said okay babe stay home go to sleep I'm going to go out with my cousins and come sleep with you later. I agreed but he called me at 2am and 2 benedryls and 1 allegra-d does not equal waking up for any noises. Long story short, I slept alone for the first weekend in a while. So I go to internship today... *side bar I only have 2 more days of internship left meaning I graduate in 4 weeks!!!! Yay, no more Grad School!!! side bar over* and I texted him and he said that he wanted to do dinner and movies after he was done getting fitted for his tux for his cousin's wedding and doing some of the things around the house for his mother. I get home at 4, still no 30. At 7pm when I was done washing my hair, blow drying, curling, and primping, still no 30. At 8 when I woke up from my nap, gave myself a pedicure, grab something quick to eat and let the dog in, still no 30. Now it's 9:15pm and I call 30, he says hey babe what's up. Let me go back so you get the full reason why I'm mad! My Godmother called me today and said she was having a spring bbq! My Godmother's family and friends are the best and I always get a gift when I go...well I turned her down at 3pm when I was told that I was going to get a movie and dinner tonight!!! So I'm heated now!!! Cause my Godmother lives about an hour away and it's 9:36pm!!! What the FUCK!!!
Now it's 9:36pm and he says, I'm sorry I didn't know you had cancelled plans, I just got home. I'm going to talk to my mom real quick to see what else she needs to me to do. What time do you want to go? My reply was what? No you fix your schedule and get back to me. He goes well I really wanted to see that movie, then his thoughts trail off somewhere. He asked how long I've been home and I say since 4:30pm. He then says what about Sunday? I said no, cause Sunday is my day where I set up for my party. I guess he thought since I spend most Sundays with him it would be alright for a Sunday date, but I spend Sundays with him cause I'm in Philly...I will not give him my Sundays in Jersey!!! He said to call him back in 10 minutes he'll have a schedule then...It's been ten minutes and I've called him already...He didn't answer!!! Okay, so here it goes down. I don't do let downs and I don't do schedule rearranges. If you ask me to do something I'm there don't have me waiting around all day... Having me wait causes you to loose what you like the most, me! I walk away from people who are not sensitive of my time. That's it...I'm officially not feeling 30 anymore!Labels: 30
Am I Sprung?
T-Pain - I'm Sprung
Uploaded by Fifty-Dirhams
Yes how did I get here? That's the question I am asking myself today!!! I mean really how could 30 have me like this? This is how I knew I was sprung today. I had to make a major business decision since that fight at the club on Sunday. I had to basically decide if I wanted to drop one of my partners because the club owner no longer wanted to work with him but wanted to continue to work with the rest of the team.
Well I was confronted with this situation and I did the normal thing. I thought about the possibility of continuing on without him, how would we manage, and etc. Once I was able to conceptualize everything I rode out with the decision but then I felt some loyalty to my boy so I paused and asked the opinions of a close few. But guess who ended up in that close knit group? 30! Yep that's what I said...I consult 30 on what I should do. He basically gave me the same opinion as everyone else...yes dude is my boy but business is business and I owe only loyalty to my money!
But really? I'm consulting 30 now on my money issues. But he was so supportive to me. He was there for me and I think that's when I started to like him even more!!! Still no butterflies or stomach problems when it comes to hearing from him, just normalcy but still in all, I know that he's there for me...
By the way, did I mention that 30 has a record? Like shot someone when he was 20 and use to hustle heavy but got out before he was ever got caught with any charges. That's when I knew for sure that there is something about me that screams...All Dope Boys Please Holla!!!! I knew it then!!! I must have some secret scent that only appeals to dope boys that they come from miles away to holla. Long story short, if you want a dope boy, come hang out with me for a weekend, I'll introduce you to at least 5!
Ps. I still don't want kids but I caught myself in class today writing out the names of 30 and mine potential children...damn now I'm scribbling 30's name in my notebook in grad school when I should be learning about Developmental Delays!!!! Damn, Damn, Damn!!!!
Labels: 30, i'm sprung, normalcy, Philly
Escape to Philly .... Again!
This weekend I went to Philly and I had another great time!!! It started out a little confusing at first. 30 and I were texting back and forth all week with the innuendos of can't wait to see you and how nice the last weekend was. He said Friday that he wanted to come up to stay in Jersey. I declined his self invitation. I definitely did not want him on my turf. It's not like I'm dealing with anyone else...well I'm open to dealing with anyone else but it's just that I like my space. It's nice to know that I can deal with him when I want to and when I don't. And it's not like I don't want to see him every day....wait I think that is it...I don't want to see him everyday. I don't get that feeling down in the bottom of my stomach where I get butterflies and queasiness in regards to seeing him or even talking to him. It's kind of this normalcy that scares the shit out of me. Why am I so comfortable with him?
I'm not sure if you guys know or not but I'm afraid of commitment. The few times I have been in relationships, serious ones, I was always hurt in the end. I felt like I gave too much. Not saying I want to be in a relationship with 30 cause really we're just trying to see where this is all going...actually I'm just trying to see where this is all going...he for some reason I think knows where it's going. Either way, we went on another group date...
*side bar* I'll post about that later because do I really have a stamp on my head that says every date I go on for 2008 needs to be a group date? I haven't been on a single 1-to-1 date since 2007. *side bar over* Okay, so we're out to lunch with his friend and female friend of his friend. We're all talking and they are basically like, when are you getting married...It felt so awkward. They laughed about how he was going to be the 60 year old in the club. Okay, so he'll be 31 this year...I just turned 25 in January, and yes although I graduated high school and college early and if you ever had a substantial conversation with me you would pit me as 28...but the fact of the matter is I'm 25!!!
Moving along, last weekend at lunch...
*side bar* why do all of these crazy comments come at lunch on Sundays? What is the Lord trying to say? *side bar over* his sister says aw a baby is staring at you [to me] that means you're going to have kids soon. I said no I don't think so...but in my mind I'm like please I avoid children like the plague!!!! Child are like cancer!!! I'm good...then she turns to him and says when are you going to have children I need nieces and nephews...he starts to laugh.. All of these comments he laughs off! What the hell? Why are you laughing who are you in love it? It can't be me! I might have turned you out or something but damn come on now...sexual satisfaction does not equate love! I mean we just got over that awkward first beginning shit you know. Now we're just having PDA. Which by the way I do not condone public displays of affection, don't hold my hand, don't kiss me, matter of fact can you walk at least a 1/2 foot to the left or right cause you're invading my personal space if you don't. But for some reason it feels so natural with him. We were in the club [Fusion] Friday night and he put his arm around me [big no-no but I didn't stop him didn't feel too bad] then he kissed me on my cheek...IN THE CLUB!!!! And what did I do, blush!!! Very shocked at myself...normally I would immediately back up ask what the f*ck was wrong with him and probably go to the bathroom and wash my face! Okay that's a little extreme but it's me!!! Wait I think I just worked something out in my head...why am I worried about them asking him that? No one said he had to marry me? No one said he wanted kids with me? Look at me jumping ahead in my own head! Maybe I do like this guy? I don't know! I'm so confused...where is the butterflies, the sinking stomach, the .... why is this feeling just so normal...is it supposed to feel normal? I've always questioned have I ever been in love before and if I haven't how will I know what it is when it comes. See dealing with any guy I've always had the butterflies, sinking feelings, and giddiness...with him...I have normalcy. It doesn't feel routine but it feels just like a regular damn day in the neighborhood...Where is Mr. Rogers when you need him to explain something to you with the damn chu-chu train?!?!?
Labels: 30, normalcy, pda, Philly, stomach pains
30 Year Old Adventures
I'm was sitting here stalking all my friends in my head...yes the other Bloggers that I call friends in my head...Like I think we would get along in person if I actually knew them. Anyway, I just realized that I did not post what happened last weekend. I'm a little different, my real life friends actually read my blog as well. Let's just say I'm pretty bad at returning phone calls and sometimes text messaging situations can just get too long so I just blog and friends call me and comment. I'd prefer some comments on here too but I digress.
Anyway, last weekend was one of my Auxiliary Sister's Birthday. She has a boyfriend who lives in Philly so she decided to spend the weekend with him. I called and told her that I would come down so that we could go to dinner, her, her boo, 30, and I. She said cool but she wasn't sure what her dude was planning for her. I spoke with him and he told me the plans so it looked like I would just be spending the weekend with 30. After internship on Saturday, I got my hair done, packed up some quick items and drove down to Philly. I got there about 8pm. When I got there he lived in a nondescript neighborhood in an apartment building which was pretty nice with door service. It wasn't Center City like he described it but it was 5 minutes outside of Center City so I can't hate cause he wanted to call it that. I was so nervous...I just kept thinking, what if he's not feeling me!!! What if I'm fat!!! What if.... He met me at the door and walked me upstairs. We get to his apartment and it was immaculate!!!
Some of my girls knew that was going so the first thing I did was texted them..."either he lives with a female and she's out of town or he had an interior decorator"...my one friend wrote back or he's bisexual! I almost laughed out loud. There was a dude sitting on the couch that I didn't recognize. I got introduced to him, he was his barber. He put a movie on his 42" flat screen television, took my bag to his bedroom then got his hair cut in the kitchen. That's when I realized he was full of himself. The barber cut his hair then left. 30 said, I don't wait in barbershops so my barber comes to my house and cuts my hairs. I thought negative 1....you're not Diddy even though you look like an exact replica of him, you're not too good to sit in the barbershop. Then he sat down and asked what my friends had planned. They had texted during his hair cut that they decided to do a low key night inside the house. So I told him and he said that he had a nice Caribbean spot that he wanted to go to with me. We leave and go to dinner. He stated that he wanted to spot at some shops on South Street. We did and every store we went in he knew the person. On top of that every time we left a store he had to tell me who the person was, what they owned, and how they hooked him up. Negative 2....why are you name dropping, I don't care who you know...I'm trying to get to know you.
We went to dinner but as we were walking down the street his sister calls out from a car, 30! He tells his sister and her date to meet us at the spot. He then proceeds to tell me their relationship history. That was when I was like, dude is really nice, he's sweet, and stuff but what the hell!!!! And it hit me, he's insecure and clearly my lack of speaking and nonchalantness is killing him and he doesn't know what to do with the space of silence that is between us. It's not that I wasn't feeling him because I am...it's just that I'm quiet at first to get to know you. Negative 3....he felt the need to fill the silence with words.
Dinner was nice and I went with his selection of food choices but I hated my dinner. He was understanding and stated that it didn't' look like I liked it so he was sorry for suggesting it. I said it was cool, it was nice to see his style that's all, that's why I tried it. His sister was a little standoffish. That night was great. Of course you know it went down!!! And that I have no negatives or complaints. The next morning was even better!!!! Then he called his sister....
I can't stand group dates. The next day we went out shopping and to lunch with his sister. She was better and we actually held conversations and were making jokes with each other. I enjoyed it. We lost her for a moment and took a walk by ourselves through the park. It was beautiful! That's when I really started to like him. He stopped name dropping, he stopped showing off, and then everything was fine. Oh did I mention in the morning but he took 3.5 hours compared to my 1.5 hours to get dressed. Lunch was great and long story short...it was a nice weekend with it's ups and downs. He's on his way up here now...can't wait to see what happens...I'll post later
Labels: 30, dates, distance, group dates, Philly
