It's Official B and Jay are done...well...actually
That's right, it's over between 31 and I. Over the past couple of weeks, a total of 5 weeks there have been problems between 31 and I. Really we haven't been seeing each other. We haven't seen each other in 5 weeks until this past weekend. His excuses were that he was in a wedding [that was in town by the way], he was busy with family stuff [he has no kids and has never been married], and he just got caught up busy chilling with his friends. I took it as that he got comfortable with me and I was now the JO -side bar- stands for Jump Off means booty call - and he no longer wanted to see me in the daylight hours. So I figured that I would just end it. Really ever since he told me that he loved me it has just changed where he isn't seeing me until like 1, 2, or 3am in the morning. So I deaded - side bar - means ended - it a week ago and I was miserable!Truly I was! I missed him so much. So I made up with him, we fucked on Thursday night [night before the 4th of July] and truly I haven't spoken to him until today when he told me that he quit his job and is just chilling now. Here's the thing. I wanted him back so bad. So bad! That I let my integrity go to get him back and once I had him I didn't want him anymore! I am that type of girl, I only want you when I know I can't have you. Once I know that I can have you and you aren't worth as much as I think you are then I'm done. Truly I just thought I was loosing a big prize and in the end I was only giving up a dud! Damn this shit has been so difficult since I left my ex. I truly do long for some type of relationship but at the same time I enjoy my freedom being able to go and please as I want. The unfortunate problem is that the nights get so lonely. Plus I'm always in the club not by choice but profession, I throw events I have a marketing firm as well as my regular 9-5. And it just doesn't help or work. I'm in an industry that is so shallow and I just really want someone to be there for me but you never know when someone is truly there for you or your money or event. I can't take it anymore. How do you weed out who is truly there for you? I am now that lonely chick, the facade is eating me alive! Just one date, one hug, one real kiss, one anything to at least make me feel like I am wanted again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: 31 now, life, love, me, men, relationships
posted by cherry's kid @ 9:57 PM
6 Comments:
Chin up.
You made the right decision. It sounds like he was getting WAY too comfortable...five weeks without seeing you??? Coming over in the wee hours of the morning??? He's 31 and he just QUIT his job to chill around the house??? Hanging out with his friends instead of chilling with the woman he claims to be "in love" with???
You don't see it now, but you should be glad you got away!!!
diva is so right. as cliche as it is, when you get everything in your life together that you can do for yourself, all the other pieces start to fall into place. just focus on yourself right now and DON'T SETTLE!!
Don't let someone treat you like a jump off if that's not what you want. My two cents.
Good luck!
oh yeah and as for 31: good riddance.
at least you weren't in denial. some people just can't see or rather admit when they are being mistreated. get your stuff in order like you're doing now. i can imagine with the parties and stuff that it is hard to find someone who is on their grown man tryna really do big things and not all about putting a new jump off on the team. maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic, but i'm convinved that when mr/ms. right comes along we'll know.
Thanks ya'll for the support!!!
Diva - Thanks Big Sister in my head! I'm definitely keeping the chin up!
Jameil - I'm definitely glad he's gone and I'm back to focusing on myself...
RJ - I don't mind being a jump off but...but...make that clear from the beginning so I know how to keep my feelings out of the situation but for him he wasn't man enough to say it in the beginning had an issue in the end thus it had to end.
Jaybee - hopeless romantic? I don't know if I'm there yet...but I like it every now and then but I DON'T DO PDA!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home