It's Official B and Jay are done...well...actually
That's right, it's over between 31 and I. Over the past couple of weeks, a total of 5 weeks there have been problems between 31 and I. Really we haven't been seeing each other. We haven't seen each other in 5 weeks until this past weekend. His excuses were that he was in a wedding [that was in town by the way], he was busy with family stuff [he has no kids and has never been married], and he just got caught up busy chilling with his friends. I took it as that he got comfortable with me and I was now the JO -side bar- stands for Jump Off means booty call - and he no longer wanted to see me in the daylight hours. So I figured that I would just end it. Really ever since he told me that he loved me it has just changed where he isn't seeing me until like 1, 2, or 3am in the morning. So I deaded - side bar - means ended - it a week ago and I was miserable!
Truly I was! I missed him so much. So I made up with him, we fucked on Thursday night [night before the 4th of July] and truly I haven't spoken to him until today when he told me that he quit his job and is just chilling now. Here's the thing. I wanted him back so bad. So bad! That I let my integrity go to get him back and once I had him I didn't want him anymore! I am that type of girl, I only want you when I know I can't have you. Once I know that I can have you and you aren't worth as much as I think you are then I'm done. Truly I just thought I was loosing a big prize and in the end I was only giving up a dud! Damn this shit has been so difficult since I left my ex. I truly do long for some type of relationship but at the same time I enjoy my freedom being able to go and please as I want. The unfortunate problem is that the nights get so lonely. Plus I'm always in the club not by choice but profession, I throw events I have a marketing firm as well as my regular 9-5. And it just doesn't help or work. I'm in an industry that is so shallow and I just really want someone to be there for me but you never know when someone is truly there for you or your money or event. I can't take it anymore. How do you weed out who is truly there for you? I am now that lonely chick, the facade is eating me alive! Just one date, one hug, one real kiss, one anything to at least make me feel like I am wanted again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: 31 now, life, love, me, men, relationships
You're Benched!
Okay...so I haven't been around for a good week or so but I got sick! I got really sick! I got sick to where I thought I had something and was about to call that nigga til I realized it was some shit I did to myself by not drinking water!!! So I'm back...just wanted to give that little announcement...kids drink more water! Now on to what's going on.....
I'm benching the MVP...That's right I said it... He's getting benched. Now why is that? Okay so I've met someone people I've gone on some dates and I basically been chilling. He has all of these chicks coming out of the woodworks so it's just like this...bench him or get benched myself. Now we all know I'm the dominant center. I go for what I want when I want it! So if I can't have what I want then I work extra hard for it. Long story short, I'm working hard for something that isn't going to give it up to me. So I digress....I'm benching him for now...until he shows some progress...until he gets the other players on the team under control...I'm going after the 30 year old and the firefighter...Oh wait did I not tell you about them...okay next post!!!!
Labels: basketball, lust, men, side chicks
Why You Talking to Me Then?
I had a birthday party recently... Actually I had 3! I normally do that. I take off the week of and after my birthday and party for that long. A couple of guys asked me for my number over the weekend. We all know I'm single now.Well, I just don't understand men now. Why do you ask for a woman's number if you're not going to use it? I have a theory...walk with me for a minute.
My Theory: There is an abundance of good black women that black men don't have to work hard for a number anymore. We are just throwing ourselves at them. And because they have such a great choice they just gather our numbers like pieces of art and we just sit on pedestals until they decide to call us.
But my major question is why? Why do you need to get my number, her number, and hers then decide who you want to call. I don't do that. I don't go around getting four numbers from guys then wait to call them. If I want your number I ask for it and I use it. My thing is if you're talking to a woman and you ask for the number and you really don't want it then why are you talking to me?
Don't talk to me! If we strike up a conversation you realize you don't want to keep talking...it's a big club...walk the hell away. Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, never come back. I don't care just walk away! But don't pacify me by taking my number. That doesn't pacify me. That makes me confused, angry, and self conscious when you don't call.
I just wanted to know why?
Labels: confusion, men, numbers
