Diary of a Confused Black Woman

For Some Reason I Still Think He's Mine

Hey it's been a minute...but I wasn't really doing anything...I mean I was going out, hanging with friends, shopping and shit...but honestly nothing interesting has happened. However, I thought it would be nice if I just let you guys know just f*cked up in the head I am. I have weird thoughts you know?

There was a guy I met when I was 18 years old. Ok here is some backdrop for you. I graduated high school at age 17. I started college at 17. At 19 years old, I was a junior in college. Okay now that that is clear for everyone we can proceed. At the time that I met this dude I was 19 and he was 18. He was a senior in high school. Please refer to the sentences above before you go urrr? He's about 5'9.5"...I like either short guys or really tall guys like 6'7"...weird I know....yellow, curly hair, and just BUILT!!!! Okay now that I've just started to fantasize about him! Wait I need a moment to myself!!

Okay moment done, anyway, so we'll call him Chico Stick! Boom! So Chico Stick had one of those mom's who just basically didn't care, he was dealing with a chick in college, he had a job, and got good grades. And my mom was like you're grown as hell, so Chico Stick was always at my mom's house when I was in college. Whenever I came home from college he was there. I mean whenever!!! Spent the nights, family events, you name it Chico Stick was there. But some how or another we lost contact and I fell in lust in college and stopped calling him or dealing with him. I moved back home and needless to say I haven't seen him until recently...ps. been home for like 4 1/2 years now. So he's a firefighter...did I talk about this before did I give you the details on him or did I just mention him. Where here's the f*cked up shit!!!

For some reason I think he still belongs to me. As much as I complain and yell, "he's not yours you're not his girl!!!!" to my friends and you guys, my friends in my head, really though Yo dude is mine though!!! Okay, so I throw parties...I'm a promoter...I let people in for free all the time. Chico Stick hit me up one day and was like yo you doing such-and-such's birthday party and I said yeah at XYZ Lounge. He said how much are you doing it. I said Chico Stick I'll comp you and your boys don't worry about it. He argued like naw don't do that whatever. I said no it's nothing. I should have known there that something wasn't right. I get to the party...I'm in the VIP and I look up to see Chico Stick and there's a chick dancing in front of him. I'm not possessive like that....I didn't want to run down and be like who dat....I fell back and laughed. I said oh that's cute she's dancing with dude that I'm about to go home with. Then it happened, she never walked away from dude. I walked past to check on people ask them how they were doing and shit and I grabbed his arm. I said hi how are you. I turned gave him a quick hug and side cheek kiss and she was still close up on him. That's when it hit me!!!! That's his girl. I didn't talk to Chico Stick for a week!

For real dude, I comp you and your boys but you bring yourself and your girl how shady is that. I checked the comp list later that night but he didn't use it...but still you shouldn't have taken me out on dates that I obviously thought were dates and you have a girl! Why do dudes go out with girls on dates when they have a girlfriend? I don't need no more male friends...I got enough dammit!!!!

So last night I go to an after work mixer that I do 5pm-11pm grown & sexy North Jersey...ps. X-Factor if you're in the area come thru to the events some time....He comes thru with his boys after he asked me for directions. They are all like Yo Chariferg!!!! I'm like hey ya'll and this muthaf*cka here. He was like yeah I have a girl, I'm not like other dudes I'm not going to lie. So Craig [Chico Stick - Craig is not his real name] why you calling me Craig!!!! For real though you calling me, taking me places, but you got a girl! He said well we lost contact but we here now!!!

FOR THE F*CKING RECORD - IF YOU HAVE A GIRL WE CAN NOT BE FRIENDS NOT IF I WANT YOU IN MY BED SOME DAY!!! How can I be friends with someone when they touch me I'm looking for the nearest bathroom to jump their bones? And why are you touching me...you know what that does to me!!! Oh I just want to give you a back rub...that is the quintessential way to say, I want to f*ck but I want to be nice about it and not come off as a perv so if I get you to undress by rubbing you, you'll f*ck me and feel good about it in the morning!!! Long story short though...he's still mine...if he wasn't he wouldn't be calling me...and that's my f*cked up mentality, I know he has a girl but I'm still going to go after him hard as hell!!!

Labels: chico sticks, firefighter, side chicks

posted by cherry's kid @ 9:14 AM