Diary of a Confused Black Woman

That's It I Quit!!!!!!!

That's right...I quit!!!! He has made it too hard for me! I'm done...if you read the last blog then you know where I'm at with this!!! I'm done!!! I can't do it anymore. Yes it's great that he calls me from Australia like every other day...and yes it's great that he responds to all my emails. But seriously, I want this dude and I can't have him. I guess I really got this way when I saw her friends at the club last night and felt it was imperative that they be nice and speak with me and be giggly like I don't already know who I am. I feel like they were just rubbing that shit in and it made me feel some way!!!! I still feel some sort of way about it, maybe it's my screwed perspective but still, them bitches don't know me but felt the need to hold long conversations and try and take pictures with me!!! Fuck that!!!!!

I can't have him on many levels. #1 I know that if I had him in the end I would just cheat on him. #2 I just want him more than I actually would because I can't have him and I'm sharing him. #3 He has that swag that I oooo soooo love!!!! #4....Can't I just like the dude!

Long story short, I need to cut it the fuck out!!!! He is in fucking Australia...what the fuck is going to happen from Australia. And don't get me wrong, I don't want to be his girl, I just don't wnat him fucking with anyone else. I want him all to myself!!! Period, end of story! Now why is that so hard? I know what you're going to say, did you say something to him? Did you ask dude about this? We had that long talk before he left and the answer was Baby Steps. I enjoy Baby Steps, I just hate Baby Steps when I know there is someone other girl involved. Long story short, I'm insecure now because I found out about her. And I know that you're going to call me a hypocrit because here I was giving out advise about forget about the other woman and play your part. I still stand by that shit!!!! Don't get it twisted, but there comes a time when you have to stop and say fuck it get rid of that bitch or I'm out! Now is that the time for me right now? I'm not that sure and i'm not going to step up and ask for it now, but I know or a fact if July 2008 comes and this bitch is still around we have a problem [PERIOD]!

Labels: distance, infatuation, longing, lust, time

posted by cherry's kid @ 10:51 PM