Diary of a Confused Black Woman

I'm Tripping Seriously!!!! But I Really Want an Apology

I had a long week this week. A very long week. First off I started my final semester of Grad School. I went back to work after a 3 week vacation. And I was hanging out with a certain someone that I have not spoken about on here and I refuse to at this time (PERIOD). But in short...I had a long week.

I get off at 5pm. At 5:30pm I was still at my desk trying to make sure I had a headstart for Monday Morning. At 6pm my other coworkers, doing the same thing, were like ok let's go. We all pack up and head to the door. One went to use the bathroom, the other was still gathering his things. As I waited by the elevator my phone gets a text message. It reads, "What's up." The number was not recognized by any of the numbers in the phone book. By the way I've had the same number since sophmore year of college. So i replied to the text, thinking it was the cop I was flirting with earlier so I wouldn't get a ticket who stated that he didn't want my job number and was going to find me to talk to me again, "who's this?" The response came back "Ant". I said out loud Oh Wow!

Let me give you some background history. Ant and I dated for a year when I first came back from college in 2004. It was great but the problem was we were dating and I wanted to be his girlfriend. His problem was financially he wasn't where he wanted to be and didn't want to be in a relationship until he had something established. My response to that attitude was posted in my earlier posts but I can't seem to find it now... Women will always be there to build with a man while a man just wants stuff built first then the woman can come along... Any way... long story short why are you popping out of the wood works now some um 3 years later.

So he proceeds to ask me questions about my family, my life, etc. Then he says, I've been sending you all these emails and I felt like I had to just hit you up. Last month I saw that he forwarded me something but I just ignored it. I didn't think anything of it but, 'oh how is he doing.' I ignored the emails because they were forwards so I thought he was forwarding his entire address book, I didn't know it was intentional. Then I responded as if I hadn't seen the emails, what emails. He said never mind then proceeded to want to know if I had a myspace. Long story short we exchanged myspace and then I see his profile. It says, In a Relationship.

This is where I get confused. Why after all of these years. After I was willing to stick it out with you but you were pushing me to the left, you are popping up to say what? Hello? I don't need hello? I don't want hello? I actually want an apology....no ... Yeah I want an apology. Shit I had a complex for a minute afterwards. So my question is am I supposed to care that you are doing well? Am I supposed to care? Why do you want to be my friend? You didn't talk to me for 3 years what do you want now? I don't know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Di had a post about reading too much into peoples' actions. And Walt wrote an article about miscommunication. Now that I think about it, I'm miscommunicating. I'm hurt. I was always hurt. I would have preferred if he never contacted me. I got over him or atleast I thought I did but now that he's contacted me I feel some sort of way about the whole situation all over again.

posted by cherry's kid @ 4:34 AM